6 months

It has been 6 months since my dad went home to be with the Lord.

It has been 6 months and one day since I last told my dad I loved him.

It has been 6 months and 3 days since I last got to hug him and have gotten to see him with my earthly eyes.

I long for the day when I get to see him again, hug him, and hear his voice.

I know that hundreds of people die everyday, but when it is someone that you are close to... your world stops.

This is the last picture that was taken of my dad. It was at the mall right before half of us went to the airport after thanksgiving.

My dad was doing what he did best and loved. He was playing with his grandboys.

The very next thing we did before leaving the mall was stand in a circle holding hands and praying for the safe trips we were all about to make.

What a great last memory of dad.

I am so thankful that we got to come down for Thanksgiving.

Eventhough these 6 months have felt like a blur at times. I have gone through a lot of emotions.

I have gone through doubt...

Right after dad's celebration service, the entire month of December that I stayed with mom I felt like dad was gone on a business trip and he was going to storm in the door anytime with his arms waving in the air and say, "Sorry I missed everything." with that big smile on his face.

Then I moved on to grieving...

When I came back home and it took everything in me to get out of bed.

For 4 months everytime I was in the car or alone for that matter. I would find myself crying. Sometimes I didn't even realize it then I would feel tears running down my face.

I have felt angry at him. When Mr. Genius remembers a time back in October when he was visiting us. They went out running and dad had to stop because his chest hurt. Why didn't he go to the dr? Why did he ignore that pain?

I have felt sad.

It deeply saddens me that my kids and my nephews will not really know my dad. Wild Man is the only one that will kind of remember him. My dad was such a strong, wise christian man that I wish I had that guidance today and I really wish that my boys would have it too.

It breaks my heart that when Romeo sees picture of my dad I have to remind him who he is.

I have felt jealous because of all that I have read up on heaven... I want to be there too. And jealous of other people that still have their dad's here.

But most of all I have felt blessed. Blessed that I did have a great dad that has guided me and most certainly lead by example to love the Lord with all my heart. Blessed with such wonderful friends that have to helped me with taking care of the boys when I was emotionally drained. Sent encouraging emails, letters, and above all prayers.

I have truly appreciate everything from everyone.

Thank you

Dad's Service

For those that couldn't make it to Dad's celebration service. Reid uploaded the video to go on the website.

Here is the link, http://thetedcelebration.blogspot.com/

I miss him so much.

Hard Day

When I first found out the dad went to be with the Lord, I had to explain to my boys what happened to Pop. Since I had no experience in this area, nor have I prepared what to say. All I could think of is to say that Pop has gone to be with Jesus in heaven.

It seemed to be a good thing to say. The boys haven't ask for Pop and other then a few questions as to why he is in heaven and when will he be back, I thought we were doing good.

Then we move forward to today.

After the boys nap we went to The Bethlehem Marketplace.

We went last year for the first time and it is really neat. It is not only a live nativity but it shows you what the whole city of Bethlehem was like on the day of Jesus' birth.

When you first walk in there is a shepherd telling us about the big star they saw in the sky and that he saw the Savior...Jesus... and he is right over there!

JJ was holding Wild Man's hand. When the Shepherd said that Jesus was in the next room. Wild man got really excited and then started asking JJ where Pop was.

He assumed if Jesus was there then Pop was there too.

Then when we got in "Bethlehem city" Wild Man was searching for everywhere for Pop and asking constantly where he was.

It just broke our heart.

Doubt

Did my dad really pass away?

Isn't he just on a business trip?

Are you sure he isn't going to just run in the door any minute?

These are the questions that run through my mind constantly.

Every morning that I wake up I am having to remind myself that this isn't Thanksgiving weekend, so I will remember why I am here.

I know that we had a memorial service for dad, but at the same time I keep asking myself it that really happened.

I am sure that this is a stage in the grieving process...but since I am not experienced in this at all.

Actually this is something I would talk to my dad about.

I miss him so much.

Some stories

I wrote a few funny stories about my dad.
http://thetedcelebration.blogspot.com/2009/12/my-dad.html

Thankful

One of the many things that I have learned from my dad is to be thankful.

No matter the circumstances.

Find something...anything...to be thankful for, and focus on that.

So I will do that.

Right now this is what I am thankful for:

• I am so thankful that Matt accendently scheduled us to come to TN for Thanksgiving a day earlier. It was wonderful to have an extra 24 hours with my dad.
• I am thankful that I am a cheapskate and had the boys birthday party together over Thanksgiving weekend. One of the last memories is dad doing what he loved...playing with his grandkids and acting crazy like the kids.
• I am thankful that for the phone call from dad on Tuesday to make sure that he was getting the right birthday present for mom. Me and the boys all got to tell him we loved him and miss him.
• I am thankful that dad got mom's birthday present early. What a wonderful blessing to have one last gift from dad. Then to be able to use that gift card to get something to wear to the celebration service.
  
• I am thankful that we didn't go to the library on Wednesday morning. 
  
• I sent a text to my neighbor asking if they would like to come over because my boys wanted to show her boys the toys they got from their birthday party. She took an hour to respond back. So in that time I got the boys dressed, started getting them in their car seats to go to the library instead. Then she texted me back to say they will be over in 20 minutes.
• I was feeding all our boys lunch when I got the call from mom about dad. So my neighbor took care of the boys while I tried to pick myself up from the kitchen floor to process what just happened and what we need to do next.

• I am thankful that I have to take the written driver's license test to get a license in IL. 
• My Bible study leader's daughter, who is 15, and is also about to take the written driver's test. Randomly stopped by to give me the book to study, right when my neighbor needing to leave to put her kids down for a nap.  So she stayed with my boys while I tried to pack and hold my self together until Matt got home.

• I am thankful that Eli is too young to understand what was happening when dad when to be with our Savior.
• When mom was giving dad CPR, the 911 operator told her to count outloud.
• Eli thought mom was playing a game and started counting with her.

• I am thankful that Wild Man is in the beginning stages of understanding what is going on.
• The first thing Wild Man said to mom when we walked into the house was. "I really wish I could see Pop too."

• I am so thankful that the boys are not constantly asking for Pop to play with him. That would just be so hard to hear right now.
  
• If the amount of food you receive has any indication by how much a person is loved. He is the most loved man this side of the Mason Dixon Line.
• I am so thankful for all the people that came near and far to pay their respects to my dad. I really meant a lot to us.
• I am so thankful that God has blessed Matt with a job the provides so I do not have to work and I can stay here with mom for the rest of the month.

So right now I am trying to focus on those things.

I do realize that we are still in shock.

I keep thinking that dad is going to run into the house saying, "Hey everyone sorry I am late and missed everything." With that big smile on his face.

One thing I really hope people understand.

Please understand that I wish I could have talked to every one of you that came to dad's service and individually thank you for being there.

We were overwhelmed with the amount of love people had for dad.

Even dad's dental hygentist came.

Thank you all.

We love you.

Dad's blog

Anyone that has meet my dad knows that he was a one of a kind guy.

He was so humble, truly loved the Lord, loved everyone around him... and was crazy.

My dad had a smile on his face ALL. THE. TIME. even on his death bed.

We know he was smiling because he was finally seeing our Lord and Savior face to face.

I can not wait for the day to see my dad in heaven and get a big hug from him and hearing him call me sweet pea.

I am honored to be called Ted's daughter, and I cherish every moment I had with him.

One thing that is helping my brothers, mom and I is hearing the stories of dad. Whether they are about the spiritual influence he had on them or the funny and random thing he did to make them laugh. Hearing these stories help us know how loved he is while here on earth.

One of the hardest things right now is that our children will not know dad, but we want his legacy to live on.

In hopes to keep the legacy alive we started a blog for people to share their stories of dad aka "The Ted". We plan to put all of these stories together in a book and give to our children.

So I ask you. If you knew my dad and you feel compelled to do so, please tell us a story. Any story we would love to hear it.

The blog is www.thetedcelebration.blogspot.com.

You can either leave a comment on the first post or you can email me or email the address on dad's blog and we will post it on the blog.

Thank you again for all of your prayers, we feel them lifting us up.

Also people have been asking about donations. My dad had a heart for missions. He wanted everyone to know to not only did he love them but more importantly God loved them. So we are asking instead of flowers we a fund set up in Dad's name for the Missions Department at New Vision Baptist Church.

Clinging to his grace

Numb

Yesterday afternoon my dad, Theodore Manning Spottswood, passed away.

He got on his elliptical then got down to play with our nephew Eli.

Then he just fell down and went start to be with our Lord and savior.

To say this was unexpected is an understandment.

We are all in shock.

We are trying to process all of this.

We are clinging to the Lord through this.

Thank you all who have sent your prayers for us when we were too weak to pray.

Please continue to pray for my mom. Tomorrow is her birthday and on the 18th would have been my parents 33rd anniversary.

Thank you

Visitors, visitors, and more visitors

There are a couple of reasons I haven't been able to post much lately.

One is because of Homeschooling.

We are doing school 3 times a week. Conner really likes it and some how he is actually learning stuff. This is just taking a lot of work at night to prepare and research what we can do for school.

By the way the above picture is Conner playing in shaving cream. We practice writing our numbers and letter in it, but of course being the true boy that he is. It quickly turned from making letters to cars that needed to bulldoze through the "snow". But it worked for a minute.

Also by changing my blog takes a lot of work. I am going through each post and having to change all the names. That took a while, I think I am done but I am going to double check.

We have been blessed to have lots of family come to visit.

First Matt's sweet grandmother visited us for 5 days. 

Then Matt's parents visited us the next weekend. We had a fun time with them. Unfortunately we forgot to take pictures. Sorry Nana and Paw-paw. We had a great time while you were here.

Tomorrow my parents, both my brother's and their wives and boys will be staying with us for a week.

All in our house.

That will be 12 people.

Hopefully we will all still love each other afterwards.

I will try to remember to take pictures this time. If I don't remember I am sure someone else will take some that I can copy.

Fun times with JJ and Pop

Sorry about the blogging break but this weekend my parents came up, JJ and Pop. And I wanted to take full advantage of my time with them.

Get this, my parents actually drove up here this time! A whole 9.5 hour drive!

Not looking forward to that drive with the boys.

Of course grandparents can't come empty handed.

I do believe that is in the grandparent handbook.

So they brought up a slip n slide for the boys and Wild Man a bike with training wheels (My baby is getting so big).

Here is Wild Man with his ready stance to run down the slip n slide.



Apparently they didn't bring enough toys so we headed to Walmart to get some more.



Just kidding we were actually getting a coffee maker cuz dad can't function without coffee in the morning.

So now when all you people come to visit me you can have some coffee to get your day started here, thanks to dad.

On the 4th of July, the weather was awful. It was rainy all day. So we went to eat at Portillo's to get a taste of the Chicago hot dog. They are really good.



Then mom and I of course had to check out the flea market that is here.

Which it is great, by the way. I got 600 count bedsheets for $10! Can't beat that. I am pretty sure I will be there every month.

Mom found her a new pair of shoes. They will help her earn some extra money is this recession we are going through.



Here is dad's reaction when I told him of mom's new job opportunity.



On Sunday we tried another church this sunday. With the boys getting up at the crack of dawn we were ready incredibly early.

So Romeo decided to change up his outfit.



Doesn't he look so cute in heels.

Mr. Genius didn't like this at all, but I reminded him that one day we can use this picture to our advantage.

I have been taking so many pictures of the boys lately. That as soon as the boys see the camera they immediately stop what they are doing and say CHEESE. really loud. It is cute, but not helpful when you are trying to take a picture of them doing something.



Another place we went to is called Graham's. They make chocolate in the store and it smells like heaven. They also make homemade ice cream.





While mom was here I got her help on making my curtains in the den/kitchen area. We made my 2 curtains that were in the den from the TN house into 7 curtains. Phew, that is a lot of fabric. I am finishing up the panels. I will post a picture when I get them done.

We had a great time with JJ and Pop.

Wild man informed me later on today that right now he is a Wild Man but later on he wants to be a Pop.

We love you JJ and Pop and we miss you.

Pop's Place

Today the boys were really misses everyone is Tennessee. Wild Man kept listing everyone he knows and asking if we can go over to there house.

So to pacify the situation a little bit. I did the only thing I could think of.

We went to a place called Pop's place.



As you may know, Pop is what the boys call my dad.

I thought they just served ice cream because of the sign but they also serve hot dogs and hamburgers.

We just went for the ice cream.

I think the boys loved it.





Don't you think?

But as we were getting in the car to leave Pop's Place Wild Man asked if we could go to JJ's (my mom) place.

Oh well. It worked for a second.

By the way, the weather is crazy here. We had to bring out our jackets. Get this...the high was only 67 today!

If this is summer, I am so not looking forward to winter.