Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Doubt

Did my dad really pass away?

Isn't he just on a business trip?

Are you sure he isn't going to just run in the door any minute?

These are the questions that run through my mind constantly.

Every morning that I wake up I am having to remind myself that this isn't Thanksgiving weekend, so I will remember why I am here.

I know that we had a memorial service for dad, but at the same time I keep asking myself it that really happened.

I am sure that this is a stage in the grieving process...but since I am not experienced in this at all.

Actually this is something I would talk to my dad about.

I miss him so much.

2 comments:

Benton Family said...

Katie,
Your precious heart. You have no idea how much my heart breaks for you. I have no way of imagining the feelings that soar in and out of you...and I won't try to say that I do. All I know is that in this world there is pain, but He has conquered the world...

I am praying, friend. Here for you for anything...but always praying.

Love,
Kandra

Bragarmar said...

Katie -
I just came across your blog and needed to post! My mom passed away on October 3, 2009. I know exactly your feelings on this post - I want nothing more than just to talk again to her! It is the weirdest feeling to explain - you look at pictures, you just think they might just show up...its a vacancy feeling. This past weekend I had the chore of packing up my mom's clothes for the dad - I so yearned to smell her as I packed away her clothes...Please know that some days are better than others...Please know that they are in our hearts and I believe they are with us everyday! I do not know you, but feel a closeness to you - I am thinkin of you!