It has been 6 months since my dad went home to be with the Lord.
It has been 6 months and one day since I last told my dad I loved him.
It has been 6 months and 3 days since I last got to hug him and have gotten to see him with my earthly eyes.
I long for the day when I get to see him again, hug him, and hear his voice.
I know that hundreds of people die everyday, but when it is someone that you are close to... your world stops.
This is the last picture that was taken of my dad. It was at the mall right before half of us went to the airport after thanksgiving.
My dad was doing what he did best and loved. He was playing with his grandboys.
The very next thing we did before leaving the mall was stand in a circle holding hands and praying for the safe trips we were all about to make.
What a great last memory of dad.
I am so thankful that we got to come down for Thanksgiving.
Eventhough these 6 months have felt like a blur at times. I have gone through a lot of emotions.
I have gone through doubt...
Right after dad's celebration service, the entire month of December that I stayed with mom I felt like dad was gone on a business trip and he was going to storm in the door anytime with his arms waving in the air and say, "Sorry I missed everything." with that big smile on his face.
Then I moved on to grieving...
When I came back home and it took everything in me to get out of bed.
For 4 months everytime I was in the car or alone for that matter. I would find myself crying. Sometimes I didn't even realize it then I would feel tears running down my face.
I have felt angry at him. When Mr. Genius remembers a time back in October when he was visiting us. They went out running and dad had to stop because his chest hurt. Why didn't he go to the dr? Why did he ignore that pain?
I have felt sad.
It deeply saddens me that my kids and my nephews will not really know my dad. Wild Man is the only one that will kind of remember him. My dad was such a strong, wise christian man that I wish I had that guidance today and I really wish that my boys would have it too.
It breaks my heart that when Romeo sees picture of my dad I have to remind him who he is.
I have felt jealous because of all that I have read up on heaven... I want to be there too. And jealous of other people that still have their dad's here.
But most of all I have felt blessed. Blessed that I did have a great dad that has guided me and most certainly lead by example to love the Lord with all my heart. Blessed with such wonderful friends that have to helped me with taking care of the boys when I was emotionally drained. Sent encouraging emails, letters, and above all prayers.
I have truly appreciate everything from everyone.